Examples of bad advice –
A teacher says to a student – “You have been lazy. You are above average. You need to study harder”
Someone is suffering from depression and you say, “You are always so gloomy man! Learn to be happy.”
A friend says to someone who is overweight, “You are so greedy. Cut down on junk food man. Start exercising. Don’t be lazy.”
The student knows that he is struggling academically… he doesn’t need anyone to tell him that. He needs someone to show him how to get out of it.
One who suffers from depression is not gloomy because he wants to! It’s because he is struggling to find a way out.
The overweight person knows that he has issues when it comes to food and working out. He needs help in forming sustainable habits.
Hardly anyone gets better when they are spoken to harshly. People don’t change when treated harshly. They already know that they are struggling! And they hate themselves for that. How are you helping them?
The keyword here is empathy. Bad advice is all about what you want to say. Good advice doesn’t start with you. It starts with the other person.
Whenever we give advice, it’s necessary to not be selfish, egomaniacal, but instead, feel the pain of the person, and then suggest something with empathy.